Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Randomize
