Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
