i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
