He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
