So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
