thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
