I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
