I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Randomize
