I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
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