Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
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