That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
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