you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Randomize
