I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
