Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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