I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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