There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I just want to make out with him forever
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I'm bleeding and have questions
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
