Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
