things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
