He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
We named our party play list daddy issues
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
