You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
And then my night got REAL pukey
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
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