If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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