After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
