you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
