There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
