I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
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