and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
He passed out mid-signature
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Ladies don't puke and tell
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize