I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
