i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
