I feel like abortions should bother me more
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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