I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
