margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
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