dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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