went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
