Me too!
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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