So drunk its hurt
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
