can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
