My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
Randomize
