i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
