his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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