I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
your like the ambassador to my penis.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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