I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
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