He is an equal opportunity slut.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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