Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
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