she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Randomize
