i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Randomize
