Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
