Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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