My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
No subtext here. People are naked.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
