Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
