Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize