His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Randomize
