Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
