Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize