And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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