worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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