Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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