i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
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