that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
