I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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