thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
