I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I came so hard my ears popped.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
