But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
