I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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